Birthday Photos by B.E.L. Photo
First of all, I’m freaked out that I’m 25. Who let me be an adult? My birthday was a little over a month ago, and I really took some time to reflect on all that I’ve learned in my first quarter of a century (ouch). Now, I’m not by any means saying that now that I’m 25 I have mastered how to have a great life because… let’s get real. However, while there are still many areas of unknowns and uncertainties, there are a few things I know for sure:
- Waiting is better than settling.
- I’ve done both. I’ve been in a time where I’ve waited, and I’ve felt the unbelievable pain and discomfort of settling. Don’t let society pressure you into thinking you have to do everything in an unrealistic timeline. You don’t have to graduate college in 4 years, you don’t have to be married by 22, have kids by 24, etc. God’s timing is perfect. Trust that not everything has to work out the way the world pressures you into thinking it does. Run YOUR race. Don’t waste time and energy looking over at how the person next to you is running theirs.
- Your purpose isn’t always going to stay the same.
- In today’s world, everyone is so wrapped up in chasing their purpose. I love the tenacity that purpose-searching brings out in people, but sometimes I think we get so caught up in looking that we miss what’s in front of us right now. My purpose 3 years ago when I was in college is not the same as my purpose now. It’s okay to have a new purpose as your seasons change. In other words, where you are now is meant to teach you a lesson. It doesn’t mean you have to stay in this season for the rest of your life. Embrace new chapters, and trust that new seasons will always come. It may not be when you want it to, but it will come.
- Not everyone you love is meant to stay – and that’s OKAY.
- This goes for relationships, and friendships. If you’re anything like me, this one hurts. I’m a type 6 on the Enneagram. If you haven’t taken this test, give it a try! I learned so much about the way I’m wired. Being a type 6 means I’m a loyalist. So, when people let me down, it’s devastating. But at the same time, I’m almost always expecting to be let down, so I feel somewhat prepared. Lol. This is something I’m working on. However, I’ve learned that not everyone can go to the next level with you. I think we get ourselves in the most trouble when we try to hold on to people that were never meant to stay. The trick here is to never allow someone to become your everything. We were never meant to have other people be our world. Everyone is human. We can’t put unrealistic expectations on people we love. It’s not fair to them or you – and they will inevitably fail you at some point. Putting all of your eggs in someone’s basket and then being heartbroken when they drop the basket is the epitome of self-destruction. If you NEED someone to love you, you don’t have a relationship – you have an idol. Stop making people your everything. Know that you can be enough all on your own, and you’ll be taken care of no matter who leaves.
- Complaining is a waste of time.
- But seriously. I have challenged myself this year to be more aware of what I give my energy to. Are you that friend/spouse who’s having a bad week every week? Can never see the good in anything? What is the point in complaining about a situation? The root of this is insecurity. When you complain, you’re needing someone else to agree with you/notice your despair so that you feel better about your current situation. Just stop. I’m going to leave it at that.
- What comes out of your mouth matters – a lot.
- What are you saying to yourself? To those you love? About others? What you give attention to grows. There is life and death in the power of your tongue. Before your speak try to stop and ask yourself this: Is what your saying true? Necessary? Kind?Choose your words wisely.
- Your “No” is just as important as your “Yes”.
- Your time is so valuable. Who/what you give it to is even more important. It’s okay to say no. It’s also okay to know that not everyone/everything deserves your yes.
- Doing what’s best for you is not selfish.
- PERIODDDD. Stop letting people make you feel selfish for doing what’s best for you, your health, your relationships. It’s not selfish. It’s an elevated mindset. Sometime’s following your calling won’t make sense to people. You will make them uncomfortable once you begin to exceed the expectations they placed on you. Don’t be afraid to outgrow people/places. Following the plan God has for you may seem selfish to those who can’t understand it. That doesn’t mean it is.
- Sometimes when you feel like you’re waiting on God, he’s waiting on you.
- I loved learning this lesson. So many times we go to God for help, and act shocked when he hands us a shovel and asks us to go to work. I’ve heard this generation be called the “microwave” generation. Meaning, we want what we want and we want it NOW. God is not a genie in a bottle that grants you your heart’s desires. He has a plan and a purpose for you, but it’s for YOU to fulfill, not for him to fulfill while you lay up and watch Netflix. Get to work. God will open the door, it’s your job to walk through it.
- Not everything that is said to you/about you has to shape you.
- No one can make you feel anything without your participation. Nothing in life has meaning until you give it one. The meaning that you give something is what causes your response to it. Remember, most of the time people who hurt you are hurting themselves. Ask yourself this – is what they said to me line up with what the majority of the people in my life would say about me? If not – let it go.
- Slowing down and looking up will keep your heart full.
- Don’t take the internet so seriously. Look up from your phone more than you’re buried in the words/affirmation of people who don’t really matter in the long run. When’s the last time you called someone you love not because you needed something, but just to talk? When’s the last time you mailed a hand-written note? Embrace the people right in front of you. Soak in the little moments. Breathe. You’re going to be okay.
XO,