So, this week was my first full week back at CrossFit in over 6 months – Y I K E S. If you’re unfamiliar with this type of exercise, it’s a lot like choosing your own death over and over again except you never actually die. For all of the CrossFit haters out there, stay with me!! The third day I was there the workout was absolutely brutal. Part of the workout was just, like, a ton of running (sign me up for horizontal running). I remember being on the second round of hell, and on the running portion I passed a lady giving it everything she had. Granted, we all look like we’re seconds away from taking our last breath, but I could tell she was really committed to giving her best effort. As I passed her on my run I yelled “Come on! You got this!”. There’s something about encouraging others during a workout that helps me take my mind off of my own suffering.. ya feel? So, the next few rounds I consistently encouraged her (between my dying breaths) each time we passed one another. “Come on! Only two more runs!” “Here we go! Last round, you got this!” At the end of the workout, I remember laying on the ground being like, welp, I am in the worst shape of all time. I began cleaning up my area, and noticed the lady was next to me. I said “Hey! You totally killed that workout. Awesome job.” I was shocked at her response. She looked at me and said, “I don’t think I would’ve finished that workout if it wasn’t for you encouraging me to keep going. So thank you for helping me.”
In that moment, right there in my pile of sweat and self-loathing due to my lack of in-shapeness (new word), it hit me. What if I wouldn’t have cheered her on? What do I do when no one is cheering me on? The proper answer that I’d love to give in order to seem like I have it all together would be that I don’t need anyone to cheer me on in life and I’m great all by myself. But, if I’m being honest, this moment was hard for me. I reflected on my own life and had to ask myself: Who are you when no one is clapping for you? Now, don’t get me wrong here, I have personally been through a time in my life where I needed people to cheer me on in order for me to keep going. This is not at all to discount the different phases of life we’re each going through.
The first part of my revelation is this: I always want to be someone that others walk away from feeling important, seen, and heard. I never want to brush people off, make them feel like their situation doesn’t matter, or that they’re a bother. Like every situation, there are healthy boundaries that should be put in place so that you’re not taken advantage of, BUT, my desire is to love people well and to be someone they can look back on in life and think, “Because of her, I felt like I had it in me to be the best version of myself.”
The second part is this challenging question: Are you okay with following your calling/passion/purpose/dream if it means there won’t always be someone cheering you on? If your dreams have been built on the foundation of hoping someone else notices and claps for you, maybe it’s time to take a step back and re-evaluate. If you’re doing things in hopes of someone else noticing, what you’re chasing after isn’t a dream, it’s acceptance. One of the hardest things I’ve learned through my own journey is that there will be times (that feel like they last forever), when no one is going to understand the season you’re in or why you’re doing what you’re doing. Even the people closest to you that you feel like know you the best and will support you no matter what. They’ll question, ridicule, and make you second guess your own dreams if you let them. Sometimes when people don’t understand, they make excuses as to why you’re on the path that you’re on. “She just wants to do that because she couldn’t do this” “Oh that’s what she’s doing now? That must mean something happened“. You catch my drift?
Here’s how to combat those things: Be okay with clapping for yourself. Non-stop, no matter what, even if there’s a fire.
This means that there will be days where the cheers are quiet, because it’s only you. There will be days when you will feel lonely, out of place, and like you’re in over your head. Don’t allow isolation to deter you. Stay the course. Chase that dream with every fiber in your being, even when the cheers are quiet. I remember when I struggled with this the most, there would be weeks that would pass and I’d feel like no one noticed me at all. I was constantly searching for a “good job” or a “wow that was awesome”. The worst part about depending on the claps of other people is this: their opinions make or break you. Every time someone would make a “suggestion”, had a bad day and took it out on me, or corrected me in a direct way, I felt like I sucked at everything and had the least amount of talent in the world. Learning to take what people say and filter it through a different lens helped me so much. I would take the words that were said to me and ask myself “Which part of this is true?” “Were they having a bad day?” “Are they going through something in their own lives that would cause them to treat me differently?”. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. It’s up to you to decide which part of it you’re going to allow to shape your life. Know this: the enemy will use people to distract you from what God has called you to by discouraging you until you abandon the calling. Here’s the thing about God-sized dreams: they cannot be done within your own strength or abilities. So naturally, it will look crazy to those around you. They will not understand every part of it. It will seem impossible.
One of my favorite scriptures in the Bible is when Jesus is talking to his disciples and says “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.” (Matthew 19:26 NLT)
Whatever it is you’re facing today, I want to challenge you. First, find someone every day that you can clap for. Whether you’re sending a text to someone telling them you believe in them, complimenting them on a job well done, or asking them what their God dream is. Not everyone has learned to cheer for themselves yet. Secondly, make a commitment to yourself that you will never stop clapping for yourself. I truly believe that when you’re intentional in asking God to show you what your purpose/calling is, he will deliver. But remember, not everyone will understand. The good thing about it is, it’s not theirs to understand. It’s yours. There will be days, weeks, and months when this is tough, because waiting on God is hard sometimes. But it’s never time wasted. You owe it to yourself to make your dreams come to pass.
Dream BIG.