Recently I was talking to one of my friends who has been walking through a dark time and didn’t know how to get out of a situation she found herself in time and time again. After hearing her story and feeling her heartache, I felt pressed to write about getting out of the cycle you’ve told yourself you’ll be in forever. I don’t know what that cycle is for you. Maybe it’s a toxic relationship, or a bad habit that you can’t seem to break no matter how hard you try. Maybe you’ve given up hope and settle with the statement, “this is just how it’s going to be”. I implore you, do not let your current (or past) situation end up being your entire story because you think this is it. There is so much more to life than what you feel like you’re drowning in.
First, let’s look at why you seem to be stuck. (I say seem to be because, ultimately you aren’t. You just feel like you are). I truly believe that God will test us from time to time. This is not a way to trick or deceive us, or “teach us a lesson” but rather, to see if we’re ready for what’s next. Some of us are walking in the valleys around the same mountain (your situation) over and over again. If you don’t learn what God is trying to show you in this season the first time, he will take you around the same mountain again until you fully grasp what he’s trying to show you so that when it’s time to go into a new season, you’re ready. Could it be that there’s something you need to learn through your situation, but you’re standing in your own way? When we feel like we can’t fully trust, we tend to take matters into our own hands because that’s where we feel the most in control. When the situations are in our own hands, in our own strength, we experience some of life’s greatest devastations: heartbreak, disappointment, frustration, anger. When we want things done our way in our timing, we’re almost always willing to step outside of the will of God to get it, because we’re human. Remember, what you want and think is best for you isn’t always God’s best for your life. True peace comes when you step back and realize that you could very well still be in the valley because you haven’t fully surrendered yet. Some of your greatest blessings could be waiting on the other side of your surrender. Let that situation go. Walk away from that toxic relationship. We are not designed to take matters into our own hands. We weren’t meant to do this life in our own strength. That’s why the Bible tells us that in our weakness, he is strong.
So, how do we break the cycle?
Surrender
This was always the hardest part for me because I love being in control. I always want to know what’s happening next so I can make sure everything is happening as it should. I think some people call this being a “control freak”? Whatever. Once you realize that you cannot fix/control everything on your own, you can finally give it over to God and trust that whatever his will is for you is far greater than anything you could imagine.
Speak Life
I was also horrible at this (lol) when I was stuck in my own cycle about a year ago. I was always assuming the worst was going to happen. I couldn’t get my mind wrapped around me fully letting go being a good idea. I kept thinking “I can’t just trust that God will make it all work because I don’t see any way that’s possible unless I’m taking action”. I finally had to hit rock bottom (would not recommend) before I saw a change in my own life. I started praying not for my situation, but for myself. I know, that sounds so selfish, right? But this was my reality: I spent so much time praying that God would change my situation to work out in my favor, instead of praying that God would change my heart for him in such a way that no matter what the outcome was, I would be okay as long as I was on the path he has for my life. I started speaking that out over myself. I’ve posted about this in a recent blog post about speaking affirmations. Every single day I would say “Your will, not mine” “I know you’re making my path straight” “I trust you with all my heart, with my entire life”. What are you saying about yourself? That there’s no hope? That it will never change? Change your mindset. Speak LIFE.
Have Accountability
I will never be able to say this enough – who you have around you makes all the difference in the world. Especially when you’re facing trials. Who are you listening to? If you’re believing God to restore your marriage – are you listening to your girlfriends that tell you how much of a piece of trash your husband is? Or are you listening to people who want to see you WIN and have restored relationships? Catch my drift? The people I have in my circle now are completely different from the people I was listening to 3 years ago and let me tell you – it truly makes all the difference. I have fighters in my corner now. I have people I can call at any time and they will pray for me and speak life over me and my situation when I can’t get the words out of my own mouth. You need people who are going to call you out when you’re off track. You need someone who can get in your business and push you to be fully honest with them. Don’t do life alone. There is strength in numbers.
Stay The Course
Galatians 6:9 says this: “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
Listen, life is freaking H A R D. Some days I’m like “why is being a living human being this tough?!”. You will have good days. You will be on mountain tops. But know this: you will also struggle. You will hurt. You will break. You will feel like you’re barely keeping your head above the water. THIS IS OKAY. You are not too far gone. You are not a slave to your situation. Your breakthrough is on the way. Your dreams coming to pass WILL happen. You will see new seasons, far better than the one you feel like you’ll never get out of. You will. Stay persistent in prayer and never give up. Ask God to shift your heart and prepare you for the next level. He is with you even when you feel like no one hears you or understands what you’re dealing with. He leaves the 99 for you. And he will do it over and over again every single time.
Whatever this season looks like for you, I want you to know that you’re not alone. I’m believing that you will break the cycle and reach new levels that you never imagined you’d be able to reach. This is a season of surrender, and through your surrender will come breakthrough. Decide today. Break the cycle.
X,